Helping a Child become INTENTIONAL
A previous blog post covered the first developmental skill a child needs to unlock the gift of speech and communication. That skill was, I want my child to be Watchful. This blog post covers the second skill in the acronym, WIN. That skill is, I want my child to be Intentional.
When you see a baby crying, can you anticipate what he needs? When a toddler is pointing to something and then looks at you, can you tell she is intending to communicate something? All children, regardless of their ability to talk, communicate in some way. They may
- Cry, whine, or scream when something enjoyable stops or when he wants or needs something
- Smile
- Look at you
- Move his body to indicate he wants more
- Gesture by pointing to what he wants, giving his hands to indicate he wants you to do it again, or using sign language
- Verbalize with laughter, sounds, vowels, noises, or words
Our job is to observe our children, look at all their intents to communicate, and then determine how to help them reach the next intentional level. For example, if they are at a stage of crying to get needs met, we will need to think about how to help them use gestures to communicate with others.
New born babies show unintentional communication
When children are first born, their communication is unintentional. It is simply a reaction to what they need. They cry because they are hungry, for example, and we interpret that by getting them something to eat. Your consistent response to a baby’s unintentional communication evolves into communicative intent.
What is Communicative Intent?
Communicative intent involves the child’s ability to use gestures, facial expressions, and verbalizations to tell another person what they are wanting, needing, seeing, thinking, or doing.
Children with autism often have difficulty showing communicative intent. Combining gestures, eye gaze, and/or words to communicate are skills that they have not yet mastered. Children with autism may also have difficulty attending (being watchful) to the gestures, eye gaze, and words of others. This disconnect can result in frustration, fear, melt-downs and other behaviors. Communicative intent and use of gestures is key to unlocking the gift of speech and communication for your child with autism and any child struggling to communicate.
What can I do to help my child be more Intentional?
With my young students, when I think of Intentional behavior, I do not immediately think of a child’s speech. I first think of gestures and eye gaze. So, in my WIN skills, Intentional, for me, is what a child does BEFORE words.
Gestures are the greatest predictors of good communication skills.
There are typically 16 gestures that children use by the time they are 2. Without a strong gesture system, speech and language use is typically delayed or disordered.
There is one resource that is absolutely crucial and excellent for anyone with young children or another who works with young children. That resource is 16 Gestures by 16 Months. This website discusses the main 16 gestures that begin from 9 to 16 months. Go here to see this amazing resource. https://firstwordsproject.com/about-16by16/.
Not only does this source have 16 gestures by 16 months, it also has lists of 16 Actions with Objects by 16 Months. They will be releasing an additional 3 resources, and those include:
16 Ideas to Communicate by 16 Months
16 Ways to Handle Emotions by 16 Months
16 messages to understand by 16 Months
In essence, concentrate on a child’s use of gestures and also on a child’s different uses of objects. The resources above can be your guide. With each gesture, think of your daily routines and how you can encourage a particular gesture. For example, if you want to teach your child to give objects, perhaps encourage him to give his bathtime toys to you when bathtime is done. During snack time, practice having him give you a cracker.
What else can we do to help a child become Intentional?
A short and simple answer: WWW!
WWW stands for Wait, Watch, and Wonder – The Art of Observing. Let’s discuss each area but first, ponder this thought.
“The best way to change a child’s communication ability or behavior is to first change your own.”
I challenge any adult to change our own behavior to help a child become more intentional. How do we do that?
WAIT – In any activity you are doing with your child, stop in the middle of the activity and WAIT. Don’t do a thing. Just WAIT. Start with activities that your child loves to do. Some activities you may want to try are: Having your child….
- Swing in a swing.
- Watch you blow bubbles.
- Play Ring Around the Rosie
- Rocking him back and forth in a laundry basket
Giving specific activities is difficult, because it really depends on the child. Choose what your child love to do with you and stop the activity in the middle and wait.
Try some of these activities and then WAIT in the middle of them. You may be asking, “What am I waiting for?” That brings us to our next step.
WATCH – Now it’s your turn to WATCH. As you watch, ask yourself these questions.
- What is my child doing?
- Does he/she want more of the activity?
- How can I tell?
- Whatever the behavior that he shows, would others understand the intent he is trying to communicate?
Which of these behaviors does your child show during this time of watching him?
Does he/she
- Walk away?
- Smile?
- Look at you?
- Startle?
- Use his/her hands or gesture?
- Move his/her body?
- Verbalize?
- Verbalize plus gesture?
- Use words and/or phrases?
You now may be asking, “How can all this watching help my child communicate better?” That brings us to our next step.
WONDER – Let’s wonder about the possibilities of helping your child go to the next level of communicating and interacting with others. Wondering is truly WONDERFUL because there is no wrong answer. It involves brainstorming about the possibilities and experimenting about what works and what doesn’t work. Sometimes we arrive at incredible solutions.
Get in the habit of WONDERING how to help your child. This is a crucial skill you will need throughout your parenting life. And while you WONDER, ask others to WONDER with you. You may not get the answers you need, but you will get ideas that you can use, adapt, toss, or keep. Keep searching, keep asking, and keep WAITING, WATCHING, and WONDERING.
Some additional ideas for helping a child become more Intentional
Let’s discuss some of the tasks, techniques, and activities that I use to help children become more intentional with gestures in their communication.
- Teach children to “Be the Giver.” I often teach a child to give objects as a way of requesting help.
- Teach children to “give their hands” to request “more” of an activity. Sing a song like “Row Your Boat” and each time, release your child’s hands. Eventually you will want your child to reach for your hands to indicate continuing the game.
- Teach children to “give me 5” to request continuing an activity. Use the phrase, “Ready, set, go” and have your child “give you 5” on the word “GO”. Demonstrate “Ready, set, GO” as your child watches you, saying the word “go” in an E-E-E-E way.
- Use an empty plastic peanut butter jar and put preferred items in it such as a snack, a jar of bubbles, etc. Practice giving and taking the jar, pretending to try to open it. Show your child how to give the jar in an attempt to ask for help, or begin rehearsing knocking on the lid as a way to ask to open it.
- Teach children “What’s the Point?”
- Objects that are visible but out of reach are excellent tools to teach pointing.
- Lotion – Work on having your child point to where you should put the lotion. Pair this pointing with any verbal sound or word. Give children the model that gesturing and verbalizing at the same time is the goal. Words like “up”, “down”, “here”, and “go” are excellent words to say during these pointing tasks.
3. Teach children to take your hand and lead you to desired items.
Specific tools that can enhance Intentional communication
Check out the book, Talk with Me, on our website. This amazing book was created by Teri Peterson, a speech-language pathologist, and gives excellent suggestions for how to promote gestures as well as first words and sounds.
In addition, my WE CAN TALK book gives you 9 techniques to use with young children with communication delays and disorders.
Conclusion
To improve a child’s intentional behavior and especially gestures, observation is the most valuable skill to practice. Watch your child and analyze how he currently communicates. Use the 16 gestures by 16 months charts to guide you into what gestures should be practiced and reinforced during your daily activities. Start with activities your child loves to do. https://firstwordsproject.com/about-16by16/
With the journey of helping your child communicate, one thing you need to assume is this – Your child is doing the best he can. The only way to change your child’s communication skills is to first change your own. Be attentive to his attempts at gestures, noises, and movements to communicate his needs. Sometimes a child’s intentional communication is hard to detect. Be an observant detective in discovering your child’s intentional communication.
My next blog post will complete the WIN acronym, Watchful, Intentional, and finally Noisy.
